Saving It For The Office

The other day I read this blog post: http://www.theamazingtrips.com/2009/10/funny-thing-happened-on-way-to-south.html

It's long but worth it. If you don't have time to read it right away than the following will suffice for now (but promise to go back and read it when you have more time): The author, in a shuttle on the way to the airport, engages in a very meaningful conversation with the shuttle driver. I was extremely touched by the woman's attentiveness, listening, empathizing, caring for and validation of this man's life experience. I listen for a living and her account motivated me to be better at it. It also made me motivated to be more interested in and caring about my fellow man.

Each Tuesday I have a lunch meeting at assorted Ogden restaurants with a colleague to discuss practice matters. I was the first to arrive to the old-school cafe, where malted french toast is served all day and the servers are ALL middle aged women wearing matching black dresses (which zip up the back), white aprons, tan stockings with worn tennis shoes, and tightly wound buns atop their greying permanents. As I made my way past the 75 year-old patrons at the bar it struck me, as it always does when I am in this particular cafe, that I am the youngest one in the place. I like being in the company of wisdom and I had a warm feeling come over me. As I neared my usual table to set down my things a very elderly gentlemen caught my attention by essentially flagging me down and gesturing for me to go over to him. When I neared him he said slowly, shaking (Parkinson's Disease perhaps), "You...are...beautiful."

"Thanks!" I said enthusiastically, remembering the blog entry I read the other day.

"Don't stop smiling because you've got a beautiful one, " he continued.

Sure, I was uncomfortable. But he was old. And I was doing my best to be interested and validating. "Thanks again, have a nice lunch," I said as I turned back to my table.

A few minutes later my colleague had not arrived and the elderly gentleman who thinks I am beautiful came over to my table and began telling me that "...men these days are tools...after just one thing (wink, wink)...they don't take enough time to appreciate real beauty when they see it." By this time I was REALLY uncomfortable and I was cursing my good listening skills.

Five minutes went by and the gentleman continued and my colleague still had not arrived. I pulled out my laptop and some paperwork to make the man think I was really busy and interested in getting some work done. He didn't notice or didn't care. He continued, "...I like making women's day by telling them they are gorgeous...I haven't lived here in more than 50 years and I can't believe the men around here. I'll tell you what, these men around here are tools..." By this time I was cursing my VERY late colleague.

Unfortunately, my colleague did not arrive in time to spare me the following, "I have been in a room of 300 men and asked them all, 'How long does it take a man to get his goal in bed?'" He held up seven fingers--five on his right hand and the thumb and pointer on the left. "Seven minutes, on average," he continued despite me madly scribbling nonsense on my paperwork. "And women? Fourteen!" He declared a little too loudly. "Men are such tools they don't even take the time to learn how to match up his goal with hers, in bed."

I was on the verge of grabbing up my things, screaming "PERV!" and rushing out when my colleague showed up. The man quickly left after I thanked him for his valuable information. Apparently sarcasm is lost on the elderly?

If this is the type of conversation I am destined to have when I try to be genuinely interested than forget it. I'll save it for the office.