Adoption. It's About...

A lot of things.

But mostly, adoption is about families: all the joys and heartaches, the gains and losses, the victories and defeats, the peace and war, the love and anger that happens in families. All of that, that makes families worth being FOREVER.

I've been following the story of a fellow blogger, and a giant adoption advocate, who is fighting for her baby. Her baby that she adopted from birth about year ago. The judges decision (who is deciding the fate of many people), through the first rounds of court, was delivered today.

I can't say this story has got me thinking about adoption. I've been thinking about adoption since I was a little girl. When I was old enough to understand, a woman in my childhood church congregation was in the throws of infertility. I will always remember her intense desire to have children in her family. Then, when my sister was in high school and competing in speech/dialogue competitions I will always remember the National Champion's speech about adoption--I was deeply moved by the account of of adoption, and its profound positive impact on family. When I was in college I worked with a woman who desperatly wanted to have children but was struggling with infertility. I will always remember, with a lump in my throat, the day she miscarried at work. Then, there was the friend that helped me pass Biology 130H whose deepest desire was to have a career solving fertility challenges as a doctor. I still remember when she said to me, "I believe in eternal families more than I believe in anything else in the world...this way I can help people do the most important thing in the world." And then there is my sister. An eternal family with children occurred for her through adoption. Finally, I became a therapist and found powerful healing through adoption. Yes, I've been thinking about adoption for a long time now.

Hippo with his oldest cousin, Buddy, who is adopted

Whatever the decision--win or loss--is a win or loss for:

14 of my clients (of a caseload of 27) (I just counted) who have been adopted

and their parents, who have adopted

Hundreds of past clients who have been adopted

and of course, their parents who have adopted

Many clients, current and past, who have adopted siblings

More than you can imagine past clients whose children have been adopted into another family

2 co-workers, who have been adopted

3 close friends who have been adopted

2 close friends who have adopted

2 friends who have placed their children through adoption

3 close friends who have siblings who have been adopted

4 neighbors who have adopted

1 special family member who placed their child through adoption

3 special family members who have adopted

4 special family members who have been adopted

31 family members whose lives have been touched and blessed by adoption

Adoption matters to me. Adoption matters to the people I know and love the most.

Hippo with his cousin, who is just three months older than Hippo, Sambo...who is also adopted

Here are two beautiful stories about adoption:

#1: A friend who was adopted from another country when she was three years-old lost her brother this year (who was also adopted). Through her tears of grief she answered my question if, at the time of his death, he felt close to his family membes (as he had separated himself from them by his life choices), "He told me I was the best friend he ever had."

#2: When one of my clients, of several years, was struggling with whether or not he wanted to be adopted I said to him, "I think you need them (his potential adoptive parents). But, I think they need you." A year later he said to me with a glint in his eye and a smile on his lips, "I need [them]. But they REALLY need me!"

I hope adoption matters to you.