This Is Pretty Funny

Hippo began throwing temper tantrums at nine months.  This shows the last part of a pretty nasty one he started in his high chair during dinner.  I came home from work while Hippo was eating and L showed me this helmet he had gotten for Hippo to wear in the bike trailer.  Hippo had a four week period where he was completely obsessed with hats; when he saw the helmet he began demanding to wear it.  It wasn't even out of the package yet and we were eating spaghetti--no one wanted to have to clean up the helmet and so we didn't give it to him to wear until after dinner.

Animal Noises

Summer Fun Photos

Pioneer Day Celebration at L's aunt's house.

We went to the Hogle Zoo in the morning on Pioneer Day.  Hippo got to pet a tortoise!

Unfortunately the Gorilla wasn't on display but I don't think Hippo knew the difference between this one and the real one.

 

We just got a carpet cleaner and Hippo couldn't be more excited.  He has been in love with vacuums since he was old enough to pay attention.

We try and go swimming once a week.  Hippo really loves it.

Positive Attitudes & Good News

My dad called last night.

A major component of our discussion was about my grandparents' ailing health. My Grandma Hazel has dementia and her body and thought functioning has degraded significantly in that she struggles with mobility and communication. My Grandpa Glen recently had a hip replacement procedure which did not take well and consequently has been in agonizing pain; this led the doctors to discover a not-yet-diagnosed heart problem. The related stress is tremendous on their spouses and my parents who do much of their care giving.

Near the end of the conversation my dad asked me if there was any good news, as our conversation had been quite doomy and gloomy. I couldn't think of any. Because a close neighbor and friend (our much respected and valued clergy) has been quite ill, we continue to be involved in a ferocious feud with another neighbor, Henry has been sick, my job (new boss) is not secure, L is working a lot, L is stressed over the GRE, and so on and so forth...

***

Pause for a second for me to philosophize on 'positive attitudes.' I don't believe in them. Optimism is for the delusional and for schmucks trying to sell you something.

Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely not a pessimist (at least anymore) and I find pessimism boorish and, further, depressing.

But, overly enthusiastic people continue promote the myth that positive people are happier. This is only because ignorance is bliss; unfortunately ignorance is also stupidity, by definition. Stupid people, after all is said and done, are not happier and just may be, due to complications related to their ignorance, less happy than average.

In therapy I cannot think of an instance where it would be effective or helpful for me to respond to some one's suffering by saying, "Let's discuss the bright side of your ________ (problem)." Looking at the positive side of things is simply invalidating. Incredibly, after people feel validated in their suffering is when their suffering eases and they naturally become happier. Only then can they experience and understand the good that came from their problem(s).

I received a text from an old client the other day which reads, "I never thought this day would come..Thanks." His life story (just 20 short years) is so riddled with trauma, loss, disappointment, abuse, rejection, criminal behavior, cognitive delays you would be shocked at the lot this child has been handed in life. His biography could fill an A to Z encyclopedia set, seriously. One pivotal day in therapy he looked up at me (he had been hanging his head) through deep soul-sobs and said, "I wouldn't change any of it." Me: "Really? Not anything?" Him: "No." Me, quietly and incredulously: "Why not?" Him: "Because...I wouldn't be me..." And then he smiled, tearfully.

He is not an example of a positive attitude and fortitude. When he came to me he was broken--completely--by life. It is, instead, a display of the wisdom that comes with experiencing life's crap, embracing the reality of the situation, and working through it in an honest and REALISTIC manner. In a later session he said excitedly, "My whole life has changed!" Me: "No it hasn't." (referring to the fact that he continued to have all of his problems) Him: "Yeah it has." Me, very suspiciously: "How?" Him: "I see it all differently now, I see me different. I like myself. I just always feel like I can do this, whatever happens."

Again, his statements are not that of a positive attitude--that nothing bad will ever happen and that all will be okay. It is a reality-based attitude. What he is saying is that he will face adversity when it arrives and that he will cope when all is not well. AND, he will recognize and cherish those beautiful moments when all is well.

***

I couldn't think of any good news...but I was (am) genuinely happy.

Isn't that the best news of all? Despite all being not well, I am happy. And that I experience joy.

Today I joyed in the following ordinary things:

Spending a warm afternoon swimming while gazing at majestic mountains in the short distance and having the sun's rays beat down upon my shoulders while cool water lapped occasionally over them, with eight other girls varying ages from 47 to seven. All while Hippo slept lazily a short distance away.

Eating nachos supreme.

Being kissed by a slobbery 16 month-old beautiful baby boy.

Feeling the wind rush through my slightly sweaty scalp.

Picking a 27 lb child up out of a crib to have him rest his head on my shoulder.

Feeling the "sweet sorrow" of parting from L as he left for work.

Hearing the neighbor kids argue over who was "going to feed the cats."

Howling with a neighborhood dog.

Eating a sun-ripened raspberry, juicy and a bit warm off of the plant.

Touching Damnit's soft fur as she walked quietly past my head.

Feeling the relief of urinating.

Being cooled by ice water.

Laughing.

Looking forward to Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

Reading my brother and sister's blogs.

...and men are that they might have joy. --2 Nephi 2:25

I Can't Believe the Cat Just Threw Up On Me And Other Thoughts of the Day

Spending an entire day with myself was a luxury laid to rest last March. Back then I was so thoughtful.  Thinking over work problems, thinking over world problems, thinking over home problems.  Thinking over triumphs, thinking over books read, thinking over meals eaten, thinking over my outfit choice, thinking over my next shoe purchase...thinking, thinking, thinking.

I definitely still think, just different now.  I think more simply, I think.

Here's a sample from today:

OH MY GOSH!  I can't believe the cat just threw up on me!!!!!  And my new white couch!

Doesn't anyone brush their teeth to go to the gym anymore?

When I nearly lost consciousness each time the lady on the bike next to mine turned in my direction

Apparently people with Swine Flu don't go to Target.

When I discovered Target doesn't provide sanitation wipes for carts.

What should I have for dessert tonight?

At 8:45 am

Really.?.

After reading that Feds have come to believe the Patriot Act just may be illegal.

Nobody will ever know if I de-bug my organic garden...will they?

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Maybe I should implement a swear jar.

After the my RS president neighbor overheard me swearing up a storm over a small catastrophe involving a garden hose, a baby, and a lot of mud.

Who knew a bubble blowing stick could be so entertaining?

After Hippo played with it for nearly one hour.

I feel happy.

After seeing a leashed dog become unleased by its owner and bounded across the park's sunny lawn to spring itself in the air after a frisbee.

I hope my Grandpa will be okay.

Cows say "Mooooo", Cats say "Meow", Snakes say "Ssss", Dogs say "Woof, Woof", Sheep say "Baaa"

Wouldn't You Know

It happened again.

That's right.

I was asked if I am a trainer at the gym today.

My head is swelling so huge I can hardly keep it up.

(or is it my biceps that are swelling?)