Recipe of the Month

Bowel Moving Fruit Salad

1  cup   Activia Light Vanilla Flavored Yogurt

2 cups  Fruit Medley

Cut desired fruit and berries into bite size chunks.  

If you use peaches, pears, pears, or bananas make the pieces a bit larger than bite sized because the yogurt will break them down.  

I usually do the following combination of fruit:

1 cameo apple

1 banana

2 peaches

1 small bunch, grapes, halved

10 strawberries, halved

This is super quick, super good, super healthy and super worth it if your feeling a bit compacted.  If you don't think this sounds good, just try it and you will be really surprised.  By the way, this feeds only two and so make more than you think you need because it is so good people will eat loads of it--L and I fight over it and usually eat so much of it we don't feel like dessert (yeah, that's right).  Another reason to make extra is so you can have it for breakfast tomorrow morning.  Other fruit possibilities:  canned mandarin oranges, fresh pineapple, plums, various berries, mango, tangelo, and oranges.

A Rose By Any Other Name

Therapy doesn't have to be complicated. At my best, things can be summed up on one or two lines:

In response to a 15 year-old boy who came into therapy one day with his hair fashioned exactly like mine--hair dye and all:

"I'm not sure whether I am flattered or creeped out."

In response to an 18 year-old boy who stormed into my office shouting nonsense:

"Shut the hell up or GET THE HELL OUT!" (He shut the hell up)

In response to a not-so-hygienic 15 year-old girl's compliment that I always look cute:

"The secret is in showering every day." (She still doesn't shower every day)

In response to a grandmother's ambivalence about whether to continue raising my client, large attitude and all:

"YOUR indecision is the problem, not her." (She made up her mind to keep my client no matter what and they no longer need therapy)

In response to the mother who does not like the child she adopted, my client:

"Have you considered getting a therapist?" (She did and she is feeling much better, so is my client)

In response to many parents who actually bring their child in for therapeutic intervention to address a chief complaint that their child will not do chores without a fight:

"I have just two rules you must follow in order to get them to do chores and you won't like either one.  First, don't give them chores; second, if you choose to disregard rule one, do the chores with them."  (Usually they disregard both rules)

In response to a 17 year-old boy's complaint that his teacher is rude to him and won't listen to him after he called her a mother f------- b----:

"What you're experiencing is a case of bad behavior evidenced by your bad behavior here, at home, at school, and in the community.  When you are experiencing a particularly bad bout of bad behavior, like you clearly are, people don't like you and they certainly don't listen to you." (This was in group and the other boys gave him specific examples of his bad behavior--love it when a group catches my momentum)

In response to the parents of my 67 clients when they complain about getting their child out of school to come to therapy, because they might do badly if they miss:

"Make a determination which is more important--good grades or being emotionally healthy.  I support you either way."     AND/OR

"Those who are good students do well anyway.  Those who are poor students are poor students with or without therapy."  (They really hate this one and will usually complain again in our next session)

In response to the millions of times I've heard this "You don't understand.":

"You're right.  Help me understand." 

In response to the 14 year-old kid who had abused a 7 year-old cousin when he told me I was brainwashing him:

"Yep.  Something I am willing to do to make sure no other child or human being is ever hurt by you again."  (He was sent, by his judge, to a residential treatment center one week later when he re-offended)

In response to the hundreds of thousands of times I've been asked this, "You haven't ever used drugs have you?":

"You know we therapists have a name for that question--the million dollar question.  (Gets 'em every time and I have never answered this question)

In response to when parents, of kids who have abused other kids, question me, "Why in the world would someone like you do something like this?"

"The answer has everything to do with the stereotyping you are doing right now."  (Ouch...and they don't think they themselves need therapy)

In response to when parents ask me when their kid is going to be done with court-ordered therapy:

"Have you asked your kid?"  (The kid then gets yelled at)

In response to when parents want me to talk to their child one-on-one to see if they have been abused:

"Why would they tell a virtual stranger they are alone with in an office with the door closed?"

In response to the parents who complain they can't get in to see me often enough:

"You know a good therapist when it's hard to get in to see them.  We have other therapists with more availability."  (They never change therapists. I don't say this to those I am sick of)

That's it for now.  I hope you have enjoyed the free therapy!!!!

7 Month Itch

This Sunday Baby turns 7 months-old.  Despite his maturity in months he refuses to roll from his back to his front, get onto his hands and knees, or even think about crawling.  I snapped this photo while he was very briefly entertained by me before he rolled over.  He has accomplished back bending and pulling himself into the sitting position from lying barely inclined.  Notice these skills are back skills and NOT stomach skills.

Baby has a sense of humor.  I'm not sure if he thinks everything is funny (evidenced by the fact that he finds L funny) or if he has tasteful humor (evidenced by the fact that he finds me funny). He laughs often even when tired, grumpy, or hungry.  His ability to be distracted from discomfort with humor has been a huge change from the early weeks.  A few nights ago he woke up in the middle of the night in teething pain and as I rocked him for hours every once in awhile he would open his eyes, look at me, and start laughing.  I'm glad he found it funny.

He is extraordinarily interested in people.  Taking him to a restaurant or a store is his greatest entertainment; he will occupy himself by people watching.  Unfortunately, due to a lack of social skills, he has developed a staring problem.  Strangers don't say much other than, "Oh, what a cute little baby" but family and friends make comments like, "Uh, your baby is staring me down."   His staring is intense as evidenced by the lowered eyebrows...   

He went through a teething spell this week starting with an all-nighter Saturday.  His bottom teeth appeared one day without any sort of symptom or sign of discomfort.  The two top teeth finally broke through today (what a relief) after severe signs and symptoms of discomfort for days.  We went through an entire bottle of pain reducer trying to keep it manageable for him. In fact, the babysitter became so desperate she gave him a pickle to chew on (he refuses teething rings).  He loved it and came home yesterday and today smelling like dill brine.

His main loves in life are:  his cloth diapers (used as spit rags), his parents, his best friends (his babysitter and son), his aunties and uncle, himself in the mirror, being outside, music, and food. He loves to eat so much he would eat all day if we let him.  Unfortunately his babysitter lets him.  He tantrums in his high chair unless eating.  He cannot handle himself if we are eating something different than he is.  How does he know already?  He demands to drink out of our cups (L's fault) and reaches for anything he sees go into our mouths.  One of his favorite toys is his spoon, occupying himself by feeding himself air.  

He still likes music and music videos.  His favorite song right now is actually one I sing him--sung to the tune of Henry the VIIIth.  I come up with stupid rhymes relevant to what we are doing and he LOVES it.  His favorite popular song is "It'll All Get Better With Time" by Leona Lewis.  His favorite rock song is Metallica's "The Day That Never Comes."  His favorite country song is a tie between three:  Heidi Newfield's "Johnny and June, Brad Paisley's "Waiting On A Woman," and "Love Story" by Taylor Swift.  It surprised me that he started liking rock and alternative which he started out not liking much of.  We played him Elvis's "Jailhouse Rock" on the day he wore this outfit and he squealed in delight so I've made plans to download a bunch of Elvis and play it on a day we are home together.

He is loving.  He gives open mouthed kisses and still loves to be held.  Even though he has a mind of his own, he is not independent at all.  He wants to go everywhere I go in the house and is not content to play/occupy himself even for a few minutes.  As long as I am there with him he can play/occupy himself.  One of his favorite things right now is to sit by me when I fold laundry and play with a toy while intermittently pulling things off the folded laundry pile.  

The only other trick he has is giving me a high five.  He refuses to clap despite my efforts launched a few hours after he was born.  

Being A Client For A Change

Here is a link to a recent news story about a law enforcement training called Crisis Intervention Team I participate in twice yearly. The purpose of the training is to teach empathy to law enforcement so they can interact more appropriately with those suffering with mental illness in order to have non-violent outcomes and to link needy people to community supports and services. This program has had wonderful results across the nation with a reduction of arrests, a reduction of violence, and a reduction of inappropriate placements into jail.

Last year I was thrown to the ground and handcuffed during one of our scenarios. I began writhing on the ground not to resist but because the knee slammed into my back really hurt. As a result of my violent arrest I sustained injuries: a five inch scratch on my back which took weeks to heal (and scarred for months) and several scrapes and bruises. My eyes were opened to how law enforcement interacts with mentally ill community members (I wondered, who should we really be afraid of...?) and I was able to provide redirection and feedback about a more appropriate response and suggest conflict resolution techniques. Though not arrested this year, I was still able to teach the officers how to best react in high stress/chaotic situations for optimal outcomes. The officers said the skills they learned give them more confidence in the field. Now that's a community in which I want to live!

Sadly, I am blocked by a rafter in the part of the clip I am in.

It's Official

My resignation was announced at staff meeting today. I haven't decided if my last day will be Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve yet but I will be done for sure by January 1, 2009.

I'm pretty excited but worried and scared and sad too.

I am excited for the following reasons:

-No more neck strains due to nodding for nine hours per day (my colleague was called a bobble head the other day)

-No more packing Baby's diaper bag each Sunday night, inevitably I forget one crucial item each week and when the babysitter points it out I feel like the world's worst mother

-No more 10:30 pm bedtimes

-No more waking Baby up at 7:00 am

-No more fighting traffic

-No more snowy icy stressful commutes

-No more crisis phone calls

-No more stinky clients

-Free time (maybe this just exists in my imagination of what stay-at-home motherhood is)

-Naps

-Reading books

-A clean house

-Hobbies

-Grocery shopping outside of Saturdays and rush hour (between the hours of 5:30-6:30 pm)

-Attending Baby's well checks

-Administering to Baby's needs

-Feeding Baby how I want to feed him

-Knowing that Baby is as safe as I can make him

-The El.len Deg.eres Show

-Volunteering

-Cooking elaborate meals

I am worried and scared for the following reasons:

-The economy is bad and is this the best time to quit a job?

-I have had a job since I was 15 years-old

-I get bored and depressed very easily when I have the option of watching television all day every day (although, we did get Ti.vo the other day and that has dramatically increased my overall life satisfaction by at least 25%)

-When I get bored I like to spend money on shoes...a lot of money on shoes

-I am not convinced that I am cut out to be a stay-at-home mom

-I am most social at my job. I tend to be an introvert in other social environments

I am sad for this one reason: I love being a therapist. I knew I wanted to be a therapist when I read There's A Boy in the Girl's Bathroom in the fifth grade. I have worked hard to get here. I love my job. I love my co-workers. I love my clients. I really really love my clients. I am good at being a therapist.

As a result of helping many people find meaning in a dreary world and in dreary circumstances I have found more meaning, happiness, and fulfillment than I could have ever imagined for myself. I am proud of the therapist I have become and I am proud of the work I have done. Seeing that go is like walking away from Baby every morning at the baby sitter's...

CHS get to it! M-O-V-E, move it

This is my Canby Cougar Football outfit that my Grandma Debi got me.  Go Cougars!  How are they doing this year Grandpa?

H dog laughing

Don't You Wish Your Baby Was Cute Like Me?

This is the first thing I bought Baby after I found out I was prego.  I waited a whole year to have him wear it.  It's cute, huh?

Update on Me Part III--I'm Six Months

Look at me!!!!  I'm jolly!!!!  I still love my mommy and daddy and kitty.  I really LOVE to eat.  My favorite foods are:  plums, bananas, yellow squash, and oatmeal.  I get mad when my mommy doesn't let me eat the food she is eating.
I am 17.5 lbs which is in the 50%ile and I am in the 75%ile in height.  This means I am tall and a little skinny--even though I look chubby.
I still hate to take naps but my mommy and daddy force me because they say I get too grumpy. I can say "lalalalalalala" and "dadadadadadadada" when I am happy and "mamamamamama" when I'm mad or sad.  And I have two teeth on the bottom!  I like to bite my mommy and daddy and my toys.  I am really good at petting Damnit nicely.  I watch myself in the mirror and chit chat with myself.  Speaking of chit chatting, I like to tell people off, talk in church, and talk to my babysitter.  I still like my baths and I splash a lot, and I think it's funny when my mommy gets wet.  I love it when Damnit comes in the bathtub with me and drinks my bath water, even though my mommy says that is gross.
I REALLY like books and I read everyday with my mommy or daddy.  I like ones that make noise and ones that I can touch.  I still have acid reflux and my doctor prescribed another medicine to help with that and with my bowel movements (my mommy said I have to use that phrase)--it is working okay.  

My mommy is thinking of quitting her job to stay home with me during the daytime because she is really sad to only hang out with me for a couple of hours a day.  

I am so friendly and outgoing I get along really well with everyone.  I don't feel stressed about strangers at all.  But I do get worried when I can't see anybody.  I don't like it when my mommy, daddy, or babysitter leaves me alone to play with my toys and I will FREAK OUT when I realize I can't find anyone.