CRNA to be!

Click on photo to see Beaumont's main hospital

Finally after seven years of working toward my goal I have made it. In 2003 I decided to leave farming and look for a new career path. I soon chose nursing and found out about CRNA . I had many hoops to jump through to make it.

I had to first become a CNA (nurse assistant). This job usually includes a lot of wiping ASS. However, I was able to avoid this until I actually was in nursing school (To be continued). I started as an CNA in the operating room. Great place to not have to clean feces. Then I moved into an anesthesia technician position which was an amazing college job and gave me a great insiders view into the world of anesthesia. Then I was accepted into the U's nursing program on my first shot. Unlike other bachelor degrees nursing school offers many humbling experiences. I remember one experience like it was yesterday. The nurse I was working with told me to give the patient milk of magnesia (Diarrhea causing medication). Anyways, it was about 5 min. before I was going to leave and the call light went off. As I walked in to the room the aroma was powerful. Stinging to the nostrils. I help the guy get into the bathroom and on the toilet. I then realized I had nothing to clean him with. I told him that I would be right back with something to clean him up with. Imagine wipes for adults. When I made it back he was standing. He told me he was trying to get his prostatic bladder open. The valve was in his nut sack and he had to unlock it to urinate. Him telling me this was all a blur. All I could see was the crap oozing out his but down his clothes and his leg on to the ground. I thought OH SHIT! Yes that is right. And a lot of it. I began to clean him up. To get to all the poop I had to have him lean forward to. And that is when I saw these huge balls with crap all over them. It was and is the biggest non-edemic scrot that I have ever seen in my life. It took me 5 min. just to get the poo off of his sack. Ever since this epic moment in my life I have been cleaning up crapola on a regular basis.

After nursing school I was admitted to the Critical Care Internship. This was good and bad. Good because I needed ICU experience to go to CRNA school. Bad because I had to sign a two year contract which I will be opting out of and paying the U back about 5g's. Oh well. During the internship I wanted to work in the Surgical ICU. However, due to my honesty with the manager that I would be leaving after two years to go to CRNA school I was not admitted (along with a lot of other drama). I went to Neuro ICU which was my last choice to work in of all the ICU's. I was bent. Yet, it has turned out to be a blessing. My manager really took a liking to me and wrote me excellent letters of recommendation. She is also supportive, unlike the other ICU's managers. I have also been able recently to split my time between the Neuro ICU and the Burn trauma ICU.

Finally the application process. This was a huge pain in the nalgas. Every school had different requirements, different deadlines, different application forms, and the websites were most difficult to read. Not to mention when I called certain places they were so bothered that I took their time away from them to answer some questions that was "on the website". All I was asking is for them to do their job. I actually found one school's website contradicted itself several times.

Now let me talk about the ESSAY. If you haven't figured out yet by reading this post, I am one of the worst english writing people Myndi has ever met (This is why I have stayed married to her for so long. I knew I would need her essay expertise to get into CRNA school). After begging, pleading, fighting, bitting, and bribing her to re-write my essay's, I finally got things submitted.

After several weeks of waiting I received a call for an interview from Oakland. CRNA interviews run the spectrum for pain staking interviews. Mine for example. 90 min. long. I flew out to Michigan the day before so that I would be rested and have plenty of time to find where I needed to go the day before. On monday I arrived at 1100 for my 1130 interview. There was 2 others waiting to interview with me. Both from Michigan. We started promptly at 1130 with some first year students answering questions about the program and trying to relax us. Then we each went into a separate room for 15 min. and rotating between the rooms. Each had 5 people in it asking all kinds of questions. Questions ranged from what was the last peer reviewed article that I had read and what was it about, to name three of your greatest weaknesses. After the 45 min of questions we were put in a room with a simulation dummy with a two way mirror. Behind the mirror was the admissions committee evaluating how we (the three interviewees) could work together to save a dying patient. Then we had to write an essay. I thought well there goes my changes. Not only did I not have my wife to correct everything. I did not even have spell check.

Yet, after waiting 11 days for a phone call (talk about an anxious moment every time the phone rang), being one of the eighty out of 200 applicants selected to interview and one of the 20 out of eighty selected to be admitted. I am finally on my way!

Except I have to bag all of my crap and move to Michigan.

And yes I do have one other offer so far. Well, to interview that is. North Dakota wants me to interview. However, Oakland is a far better and bigger facility so I am going to forfeit that one. Upenn was a bust (Long story about that one). I am still waiting to hear from Mayo, Westminster and I am going to apply to Kaiser in California in November.