I use an empty and dark room for time out during church. Hippo spent a large portion of 11:00 am to 2:00 pm in that empty an dark room today, mostly screaming like a dying hyena.
And when he wasn't in the empty and dark room, he was throwing toys and farting.
Since it was church, I kept praying he would just poop and get it over with...those prayers were unanswered and the farting continued.
By the time I got home and got Hippo into bed, I was plum worn out.
That's when I heard a strange hissing sound coming from the refrigerator. Going over to inspect it I saw nothing out of the ordinary and a quick temperature check yielded perfect freezing and cooling temperatures. So I ignored it and took a well-deserved nap.
I was woken by a VERY LOUD hissing noise coming from the refrigerator and I went to inspect again. This time I found some water dripping from the filter underneath the doors. I grabbed a kitchen towel and figured L would take a look at it when he got home from work.
By then Hippo was awake from his nap and when I got him up he informed me loudly he had, "POOP!"
I brought him downstairs after the diaper change and as I rounded the corner, in the kitchen, to the garbage can to deposit the soiled diaper, I slipped on a large puddle of water and fell on my butt. I got up and laughed a little while my tail bone stung and my eyes tingled with tears. Then I heard another, smaller thud and turned to see Hippo had slipped and fell in the same exact manner I had. I picked him up and comforted him and discovered water covering nearly the entire kitchen floor. He continued to cry as I put him down to assess the emerging crisis.
Pulling the refrigerator out gave no more information as to the problem. I desperately called L who completely blew me off. Hippo cried on.
An hour later, when six bath towels were no longer holding back the leak I desperately called L again leaving a nasty message (or six) and then a nasty text message (or six). And Hippo cried more.
When L finally called me back he gave me some sorry excuse about saving lives. I informed him our HOUSE WAS FLOODING! He told me to turn off the water on the back of the refrigerator. THERE IS NO SWITCH THERE! He told me to go downstairs and turn the valve off on the copper tubing. When I got to basement I discovered water FLOWING OUT OF THE CEILING! I violently swung open the door of the utility closet and realized verbally, IT'S REALLY DARK IN HERE AND I CAN'T SEE A THING!
That's when L said, "Oh, the lightbulb is probably burned out. Is that Hippo crying hysterically?"
Did you remember reading the part of the story, above, where I switched 'on' the light switch? No? That's because I hadn't...yet. L knew, 35 miles south in the depths of the University Hospital that the lightbulb in our utility closet was burned out. Hmmm.
That was the moment.
The one where I lost it.
6 comments:
We just don't go to church anymore. That has solved all of our problems with "Satanic" screams from an infant in our lives.
If it weren't for events like these, blogs would be nearly as much fun to read. Another life experience...there will be many more.
Speaking of passing gas, here's a story from the The Edge in The Oregonian that will surely make you laugh out loud and cheer you up!
From Uncle Edgester's diary:
"I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.
"After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.
"Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod."
WOW!! I love it when my wife thinks I blow here off. Although, in my defense she knows that I do not receive service in the hospital. Also I really was saving a life. Imagine that saving lives in an ICU really happens. Hmmm...
Hmmm
You know how people type lol but they don't really mean it? No really. I was laughing hysterically out loud. SO FUNNY!
That was GREAT!!! Courtney kept asking why I was laughing!! The great thing about these sorts of things happening is if they didn't happen you would have no story. Stories are great!!
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