Utah

There's a few things that set the state of Utah apart from other states:

1.  Pioneer Day, today

This is a holiday that is only celebrated here in Utah.  A day to celebrate the travails of Utah founders (that is the white settlers).  The American Indians, the Utes as one example, 'founded' Utah long before.  I spent my Pioneer Day shopping with Baby.  I had the bright idea to run errands but everywhere I needed to go was closed...I don't know about you, but I have a hard time enjoying a mid-week holiday as a holiday should be enjoyed.  The anticipation of having to go back to work tomorrow squeezes the fun right out of it.  It was nice to have an FMLA-like day with Baby though.  Since he is older we could do more things like work out, be out of the house for a whole four hours, etc.  I think he liked having me home.

2.  The Seagull is the state bird.

For those of you non-Utahns out there, here's why. When the Pioneers (those I am commemorating today) arrived in the Salt Lake Valley it was quite miserable including marsh-like conditions, mosquitos, and other sorts of nuisances everyone hates when they move into a new home...

That first planting season an unfortunate even occurred:  locusts came by the millions and began eating the crops to nothing.  The Pioneers, being a faithful people, prayed that God would spare their crops.  A miracle happened.  Seagulls came and at all of the locusts saving the settler's crops.  There is a monument at Temple Square now which depicts the miracle.

3.  The Loads of Mormons

Do I need to say anything more about that?  

But, as a result of the numerous Mormons there are funny things about Utah:

4.  The State the Consumes the Most Jello 

compared to all of the other states.  In fact, though I'm not sure how official this is, Jello is the state food.

5.  The Largest Organ in the world

lives in the Tabernacle at Temple Square (Salt Lake City).  Apparently some of the pipes are so big an adult man can stand comfortably inside.  Although, I'm not sure how comfortable a nearly 200 year old pipe could really be.

6. The Golden Spike

which it seems every business in Weber Co. was named after.  The Golden Spike was where the Union Pacific and the Trans-Atlantic railroads met creating a glorious moment in history for consumerism and capitalism.  

7.  The Salt Lake

My dad would go to Utah from time to time when I was a kid and I remember thinking (being born and raised in Oregon and having never stepped foot in Utah until I was 17) the Salt Lake was probably the most beautiful lake on earth.  Well, in all reality (not to let down others' childhood fantasies) the Salt Lake is one of the ugliest and grossest lakes on earth.  It stinks.  I live approximately four miles from the north eastern shoreline and oh boy when the wind blows right (or wrong) it smells like someone let out a SBD; this can last for days.  

L and I had our engagement pictures at Antelope Island which is one of many islands in the Great Salt Lake and they turned out fab but we had to endure the elements:  the stink, the millions and millions of bugs--which in the pictures look like a cool photographer trick to make the bottom of the picture hazy...that's how many there actually was, the blazing hot sun because there is zero natural shade--nothing grows naturally because of the salt, the brine shrimping boats--not like Bubba Gump shrimping boats (brine shrimp feed your pet fish), etc.

8.  Narcissistic Drivers

I was listening to a radio show the other day with a Truck Driver as a guest and he said there are places that actually are worse than Utah when it comes to bad driving--he said St. Louise is really bad.

9.  The Best Snow on Earth

So proclaims the Utah license plate.  L is an avid skier and I of course am not.  I didn't think there could be much difference in snow but apparently I was wrong...a girl I used to work with had moved to Utah from NYC and I asked her one day how she liked the severe and jarring difference in culture and she said it doesn't bother her much.  When I showed my surprise she said, "Everything I deal with culturally is worth it because Utah has the best snow on earth."  She then went to on to say she has skied all over the world, including the Alps, and she said that Utah's snow is by far the best and that is the ENTIRE reason she moved and has stayed.  

I did some research...Utah's snow is so good because of the Great Salt Lake (so it is good for something).  When the lake evaporates there is some salt in the evaporation and when it condenses into snow it creates a very light and fluffy snow--good for skiing and falling (mostly why I now appreciate it).  This is unlike the heavy and wet snow Oregon gets.

9.  Salt

Because of the wealth of salt, Utah salts their freeways and roads instead of sanding them during snow storms.  Salt drops the freezing temperature which allows my place of employment demand I show up on time no matter how snowy it is.

10.  Crappy Roads and Crappy Cars

As a result of all of the snow and salt.  The salt eats the pavement and eats car paint.  The underbelly of a Utah car (and sadly the top part of our Hon.da) are usually rusty.

11.  Temples

In Utah there is a plethora of Mormon Temples which are magnificent buildings.  If you are standing at one point on I215, or standing at one place in the SLC airport you can see two temples at once--the Salt Lake Temple (probably the most famous one, the one that looks like a castle) to the east and the Bountiful Temple to the north.  I bet you could actually see three or almost four (as one is being constructed right now) if you stood on one of the Western Mountains.  

12.  You Always Know Where You Are

which is one of my favorite things about Utah.  The big mountains are on the East and so you can always gauge which direction you are going.  Plus, Utah cities have been built on a grid system which makes finding anything a breeze.  

That is not the only reason you always know where you are.  It is just as hard to forget you're in Utah as it is to forget you are in Venice.  Different reasons, Utah culture just screams from every nook and cranny...

13.  Big Hair

Utahns seem to have large and in charge hair.  I'm not sure the cultural roots of this phenomenon but I have a snide/sarcastic guess:  Utahns are a traditional people and maybe they have not altogether let go of the pompodeor (My spell check didn't offer me any other spellings for that word). 

14.  BYU

My alma-mater.  The institution that brought me to Utah.  BYU is a beautiful school--you should go there sometime just to appreciate how nice it is.  BUT, I didn't always appreciate my time there for reasons that would necessitate a separate blog entry.  Any-hoo, BYU is the most efficient and busy school in the world.  I read, in my BYU magazine, that BYU has something going on in nearly every building on campus every single day of every single year.   And I complain about my electric bill!

15.  Swamp Coolers

Because it is arid here we can use these contraptions to cool our house that are not A/C.  And they actually work.  Except if you have ever been to my house in the summer you are thinking to yourself, "Uh, yours doesn't work."  You are correct.  Our sucks.  It has a 1 horse power engine, which is huge if you think that sounds small.  Sometimes I imagine it is a real horse up there driving my swamp cooler engine and I wish I had a jockey with a whip to get that thing going...so that my house actually cools down.

Anyway, this is how they work:  It is a box that holds pads on the walls of the box.  Inside the engine turns a fan while water is sprayed from a shower-type thing onto the pads (cooling them).  The fan catches the cool air and blows it into the house.  Along with all sorts of unwanted things like bugs, allergens, dirt, oil (from the 1 horse engine)--and you know how I feel about my white carpet, rain (it sits on the roof), lightening (unfortunately for a friend of mine), and noise.

This is where I will end because I am going to celebrate the Pioneers more by watching family members blow things up.  Feel free to add your own observations about Utah...

ALTHOUGH I DON'T EXPECT MUCH SINCE MY READERS DON'T EVER COMMENT...