Indefinitely

I am indefinitely finished with blogging. The announcement comes at a crossroads for me and my family which makes me realize I am not able to be honest in this forum at this time.

Book Reviews

I'm going to begin a star rating system for each book:

1 star--I could barely get through this book

2 stars--I got through it but not well. And/or it is forgettable

3 stars--It was entertaining, not life changing in any way.

4 stars--It is good. Or, it may be excellent but a hard read for me for an assortment of reasons (which will be explained)

5 stars--It is one of the best books I have ever read

When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead

This is a really good book. It is an easy read with an interesting moral/twist. Even though my life, growing up, was much different than Miranda's I can really relate to her and the way she thinks about the world and the way she learns life lessons. I highly recommend this book. 4 out of 5 stars.

The View From Saturday by E.L. Konigsburg

I was reminded of the movie "Slumdog Millionaire" while reading this book in that the characters are ironically linked and are also on the same academic bowl team. This book is quite deep and even though I claim to be a thinker the deeper meaning sometimes evaded me. Since this is a juvenile book I think such themes will be completely lost on children and most adults. From what I gathered the deeper themes are: kindness, finding meaning in one's journey, and forming meaningful relationships. 3 out of 5 stars.

The Tale of Despereaux: Being the Story of a Mouse, a Princess, Some Soup, and a Spool of Thread by Kate DiCamillo

I may be the only one on earth who did not care for this book. It was stupid. 2 out of 5 stars (but it is not forgettable in that that is how much I did not care for this book).

Sarah's Quilt by Nancy E. Turner

This is the sequel to "These Is My Words: The Diary of Sarah Agnes Prine" which is one of my favorite books of all time. Of course, Sarah's Quilt paled in comparison BUT the book accomplished something important--it mourned Jack. If you don't know what I'm talking about it is because you haven't read the first book. I love Sarah as a protagonist so much that Sarah's Quilt is a pretty easy read as a result. Unfortunately this book finds her at a cross section of life when she is responsible for many things and so her spunky personality doesn't come through in this book as much as the first. That is what is missing from the sequel. 3 out of 5 stars. I will be reading the last in the series eventually: "Star Garden".

Crispin: The Cross of Lead by Avi

A 14th century historical fiction account of feudal England. I kept imaging this book would make a good movie while I was reading it. The protagonist, Crispin, is a young adolescent who meets a very wise traveling companion, Bear, on a journey for "freedom" and "safety". Bear is the star of the show and this book is worth reading for his life insights/one liners. I recommend this book to pre-pubescent boys most. 3 out of 5 stars. This book is the first in a series.

I am reading "March" by Geraldine Brooks next. Leave me a comment if there is a book you suggest/would like me to read and review. Disclaimer: I commit to reading nothing but welcome any suggestions (e.g. I refuse to read Tolstoy)

Thoughts on Mother's Day, Belated

There are two camps of thought on Mother's Day: those that want to be showered with affection, validation, appreciation, and worship and those that use the day to appreciate their children.

I don't mean to make the first one sound bad at all. I want those things too, but really I feel an overwhelming affection and appreciation for my children on Mother's Day.

What I thought about this Mother's Day: Being a mother is the hardest assignment I've ever been given but I don't expect my children to ever understand this. I am fine with them thinking that being their mother should be easy, because it should be if I was perfect. In reality, it's not easy at all. Being a mother stretches me and makes me grow in ways I never thought possible (kind of like how your muscles feel after the first time snowboarding...what!? I didn't even know I had muscles in those places!). After particularly hard times I realize I am smarter, stronger, better, wiser, and closer to perfect than I was before the hard times.

Being a mother is a gift for two main reasons: children's laugher and happiness and hugs and kisses are better than money, chocolate/cheesecake, big houses, fancy cars, or pretty much anything; and being a mother makes me a better version of myself every single minute of every single day.

Moreover, I am in the second camp of thought. Mother's Day should bring me a bit of relaxation, nice words, and maybe a gift or two but really I will always be celebrating my children that day.

Book Review

I am going to make an effort to document every book I read. I will start with the last three:

"Unbroken" by Laura Hillenbrand

By the author of "Seabiscuit" "Unbroken" is a historical account of Louis Zamperini who survives incredible circumstances in WWII including a plane crash, 40+ days in the Pacific Ocean on a life raft, and three Japanese prisoner of war camps. The story is captivating to say the least; I was completely engrossed by this book. I was left with a lot of feelings as I finished this book including reverence, gratitude, admiration, anxiety, anger, sadness, and love. Hillenbrand's account of Louie's war experience and life are an incredible tribute to not just Louie but those he came into contact with that helped him "survive." This book made me want to hug my children a little more, for a little bit longer, and a little bit tighter. Like Louie's mother, I can't stand the thought of my boys suffering and the reality of WWII to so scary and the idea that war is occurring right now makes me physically ill.

"The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" by Steig Larsson

If you haven't heard about this book/series where have you been? The first of three, which I plan on reading, is good. It is a thriller and it is quite thrilling. Here's the catch: the first hundred pages or so are a little dull as the story is set in Sweden and there is a lot of talk about Swedish industry and politics. Once the plot gets going, however, it's a page turner. One more warning: the crimes are grizzly and difficult to read about. A journalist and a hacker set out to solve a mystery and end up solving a few mysteries. The hacker is quite awesome...you'll have to read it to find out why but here's a hint: girl power!

"The Graveyard Book" by Neil Gaimen

This book is good for two reasons. 1) It is written with a unique style. 2) It is an interesting idea. The idea is that a boy is raised by ghosts in a graveyard. I had a hard time really connecting with most of the characters, however, besides the main character and his "guardian". I wonder if Gaimen did this purposefully, however. I also didn't think the antagonist/climax (it was slightly anti-climatic) was executed as well as possible as I was left with unanswered questions. I wonder if Gaimen intends to write a series which may answer my questions. Neil Gaimen also wrote the popular "Coraline."

My next book: "Sarah's Quilt" which is the sequel "The Diary of Sarah Agnes Prine" by Nancy E. Turner. I haven't reviewed the latter book but said simply, every female book lover will love it.

Obedience At Age 3

Play-Do + Hip = Tons of Fun and Happiness

Play-Do + Mom = A Lot to Clean Up

Me: Go potty please.

Hip: There's no pee coming out.

Me: Good. The idea is to go before pee comes out.

Hip, after several minutes of not going potty: Mom? Can I be obedient like Nephi?

Me: I would love it if you would be obedient like Nephi.

Hip, jumping up and down: I can be obedient like Nephi! Goes potty. I like being obedient.

Me: I like it when you are obedient too.

Hip: Was Nephi obedient?

Me: Yes he was. And his mother Sariah and Heavenly Father were very happy when he was obedient. Just like how I am happy when you are obedient.

Hip's favorite song, besides K$sha songs, is "Nephi's Courage". We've been reading First Nephi in our family scripture study and we have been emphasizing the importance of Nephi's obedience to God's commandments, especially when facing adversity. Someday I will post a video of Hip singing "Nephi's Courage" as it is totally awesome.

Month 6

Now that I'm six months I am doing a lot of things like sitting up all by myself, sitting in my high chair to eat, eating a lot of food, creeping (moving around on my tummy), babbling ("babababa"), jumping in my exersaucer and in my Johnny JumpUp. I am also working on my fine motor skills and hand-eye coordination. I like to experiment with my body and lately I've been doing back bends while my mommy holds me so I can see the world upside down. I also like to stand a lot and am really strong. I already am trying to climb in and out of the bathtub and climb up my mommy when she holds me.

As you can tell, I have a very cute and fun personality. I like to play with toys a lot. I like to play with my mommy, my daddy, my brother, friends, and my kitty too. My mommy says the kitty has a lot more patience with me than she did with my brother because the kitty appreciates the fact that I cry much less.

I like to play outside too. Hip and me are best friends. My mommy thinks I am Hip's biggest blessing in life right now because I like him so much. I like to hear him talk, laugh, and play. I like to watch him be rowdy, laughing hysterically at his attention seeking. My mommy says to ignore him when he does obnoxious things but I can't help thinking he is really funny. Sometimes I even copy the things he does which makes my mommy roll her eyes and take some ibuprofen for her resulting headache.

We like to do many things together including watching movies/helping Daddy with homework (as pictured above) playing cars, tummy time, riding in the jogging stroller side by side, riding in the bike trailer side by side, riding in the car side by side, going to the store together. Costco is our favorite store to go together; last week at Costco Hip was making me laugh so hard we were attracting more of a crowd/comments than the sample booth for crescent rolls. Now that is a HUGE deal, says Mommy.

This is how I know Hip loves me: he shares this swing with me. This swing, besides his rags, is his prize possession. He loves this swing but does not think it is a big deal at all when I take a turn. In fact, he often offers it to me first and waits for his turn patiently.

Hip does not like it when mommy gets me out of my crib before he wakes up because he likes to come in my room and greet me to each new day saying/yelling, "WELL HI PT!" He also likes to help change my diapers, bath me, feed me, dress me, etc. Hip sometimes gets bored and upset when I am napping and he begs Mommy to play with me when I wake up.

I get really excited a lot. Mostly about toys, my mommy, Hip, and food. I make a lot of sounds (one of my laughs sounds like a machine gun) and facial expressions which makes my family and friends laugh. I still like to drink my milk, mostly in the morning and at night but I am really into eating baby food and cereal. I love it all. My doctor was surprised that I gobble up green vegetables so easily and readily. My mommy told her that I was born into a food loving family and so it is not that surprising.

Here are my two teeth. They don't really help me with eating yet and I'm not sure I like them because today I bit my tongue! I didn't cry very long because I never cry very long. The one exception is in the middle of the night last night when I realized my mother was upstairs sleeping instead of holding me. That means I am going through object permanence right now.

I pretty much demand to sit in my high chair. My mommy wishes I didn't like it because she says it takes up way too much room in our snug dining room. But I love it. I can interact with Hip better while he is eating and I can also stare out the window and look at the various rodents which congregate on our front lawn. My mommy didn't get a picture of it but today Hip and I stared out the window while cars drove through our flooded street. She says she can't believe how different we are (Hip and me) but how alike we are too.

My mommy says I was born "barrel-chested" and I still am. Even though I am in the 50% in weight (17.10 lbs) and in the 70% in height I definitely have girth.

Here are a few other things about me that my mommy wants to remember: The ladies at the gym childcare really like me and tell my mommy that I am their favorite baby because I am so cute, nice, and cuddly. I get out of my swaddling really easy and I think it's funny my mommy still tries to swaddle me at all. I like to smash my face against my bumper in my crib, I can't sleep if I don't. I still take a pacifier but I can be okay without one too--except to sleep, I really like it when I sleep. My feet are chronically cold and clammy and my mommy had to get special socks to help them stay warm. I love the bath and I even love to poop in it. My mommy says she doesn't mind that I poop in it as long as daddy is here to clean it up! I entertain myself quite often. I can wake up and play for several minutes so Mommy can finish whatever she is doing before coming to get me. I am content but very curious and interested. I would rather watch and interact than nap and so I have to sleep in my crib otherwise I won't nap, which makes being out and about difficult for Mommy sometimes. I still have pretty severe reflux which has made my mommy's life a nightmare. Our living room area rug is destroyed due to beginning solids like sweet potatoes and carrots. My mommy can't wear anything too nice or it will also get ruined. In fact, I ruined her University of Utah hoodie and she said it was "okay" since it wasn't her BYU one!

Happy Easter

Dear Dad, I Forgot

This is me.

I forgot your birthday.

Helen Keller said, "Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world." That's what I was busy doing when I forgot your birthday--self-pitying.

I haven't blogged much lately, because I was well-aware of my self-pity and quite ashamed to admit it. Blogging is about honesty for me and I knew my self-pity would come through. Unfortunately, it did come through in other ways, like holding my thoughts captive instead of thinking of others. And, nonetheless, I am ashamed.

A birthday is a time to celebrate, to rejoice in what the person has contributed to others. So here goes, belatedly:

I recently read, "People of the Book" by Geraldine Brooks. Part of it takes place in Sarajevo which hits a bit close to home for us. The novel documents some of Yugoslavia's war-time history and it made me think of your forefathers who had the wisdom and fortitude to leave Yugoslavia. I know this is a subject you have been thinking a lot about over the last few years as you have faithfully worked on your Yugoslavian family history. By slaving over this task you have provided a great blessing to me in the form of gratitude for my ancestors, pride in my heritage, and a feeling of being connected to the past and the future. Being the social worker that I am, I can't help wonder what these people were like and about their personalities. The best way to figure that out is to observe what we are like and wonder what characteristics and qualities we might share.

You are intelligent. From what you have gathered about your Grandpa Sajovic's life, I think he was like that too. You are the most intelligent person I actually know. Intelligence is a mix of knowledge and ability to think rationally, logically and reasonably. I still count on your opinion more so than my own most of the time. In fact, I appreciate your insight about how I should conduct myself regarding the sale of my house and property/settling my financial affairs more than any other gift you have ever given me. I knew when I called you to discuss those issues you would have the most reasonable solutions because you are able to put aside the frivolous and unimportant. Moreover, I have great faith in you and your advice.

You are quiet. I think you get this from Grandma. Grandma has quiet dignity and calmness that soothes. You do too.

You are steadfast. Some people may confuse this as stubborn but I choose "steadfast" as a personal adjective (to describe myself) and I know I get it from you. "Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness in hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life." 2 Nephi 31: 20.

You are kind, giving, and compassionate. The time, effort, expense, and patience it took for you to help us move to Michigan will never be forgotten or lost on us. Thank you seems too trite of phrase to describe my (our) immense gratitude to you for that.

You have a way with words. Our immediate and extended family and people in Canby 1st ward have all complimented your ability to speak publicly. And it is a huge compliment if I enjoy your writing/style, which I do. I know that if I practiced more I would have a way with words too, thanks to your endless hours of editing my work.

You are humble. I've never heard you brag and I've never known you to be lofty, arrogant, or to care about worldly things. Not ever. Not even close.

You are interesting. I really like hearing about your life, present and past.

You love your family. You love your grandchildren.

Thank you for being my dad. One of my favorite memories, of many because you have been an active part of my life, is one drizzly Oregon day I was playing soccer in Lake Oswego and when I glanced over to the sidelines I saw you there in a trench coat and hat. I did not know you were going to come to that game and I was glad you did. I'm not sure why I like that memory so much but maybe because it captures nearly everything I have written about you today. I am glad you enjoyed coming to watch me play sports, even though I was lousy, it made playing a lot more fun.

Love, Me

More Pictures

Happy Birthday Hip

I made this cake with marshmallow fondant. It was a very messy job but it turned out pretty great if I do say so myself. Hip insisted on having a pink cake with flowers on it for weeks. I am a parent who encourages self expression, ideas, and opinions so I never questioned his choice but about a week out he changed his mind and said he wanted an orange cake.

We had a party with the neighborhood friends and the weather was nice enough to enjoy it outside. In the four times it has rolled around in Hip's life March 19th has been sunny.

The games included a 3-legged treasure hunt. Here Hip is partnered with his BFF. They were so funny we had tears of laughter. Hip kept saying, "I'm done with my foot like this."

And a ring toss. You got to keep the soda you ringed...or in the even no one ringed any everyone got a soda! There was a dance party at the beginning of the party but the only pictures were of PT because the kids dumped out toys instead of danced.

I have a philosophy that it's not a good party without a pinata.

Opening presents. Hip enjoyed some "Cars" toys, a "Lightning McQueen" fishing pole, a puzzle, and a horn for his new bike.

Hip received from us/grandparents: a bike! some play-do toys, Candyland (which he said after opening, "I don't like this"), and a marble toy (because his cousin got one for Christmas and Hip was enchanted with it). He got from his Harris grandparents a dump truck, a monster truck, and a book.

Hip loves a busy day so we kept the festivities going all day. Here were the day's activities: a pancake breakfast with strawberries as requested by Hip himself (made by Daddy), a walk/run to the library with Mom and PT, practicing on his new bike with Mom and then with friends, lunch at his BFF's house (he requested a quesadilla), a movie for quiet time ("How to Train Your Dragon"), party with friends, play outside with friends, and dinner with Mom, Dad, and PT at McDonald's (he got chicken nuggets and chocolate milk).

It's hard to remember the little baby that joined our family three years ago when we look at Hip, as he has grown into such a self-reliant and assured child. Hip continues to have a BIG personality with not a shy bone in his body. He makes new friends with children and adults everywhere we go. He loves to play with friends, loves to be outside, loves trucks and construction equipment and race cars, he loves to read (favorite book right now: anything by Dr. Seuss), loves to be out and about, loves to cook, loves to fix things, loves to help Mommy and Daddy, loves his Daddy more than life itself, loves being a big brother and introduces PT to everyone (usually more than once), is incredibly intelligent, and is fun to be around. He likes to dance, he likes to be involved, he likes to talk, he knows everyone's name that he is around more than five minutes, and he likes to be scheduled and to anticipate things in his day. He also likes to look forward to things and enjoys discussing the next day's plan the night before. Hip is sensitive to emotion and can sense how others are feeling. He can feel sad more often than other children and so Mommy and Daddy pay close attention to the events in Hip's life to make sure he can cope with his feelings. Hip has a lot of energy and is looking forward to starting some sports this year. Hip does not like to be pushed around and likes to decide things for himself. Hip is also polite and kind. He has learned to share and to be a good friend. Hip is very funny too and has learned to strike deals in order to get what he wants.

Hip has had a huge year of change during this last year and we feel his personality has persevered despite all of those changes.

Month 4 & 5

PT making his signature look #2

PT continues to be a happy baby. He has a keen sense of humor and looks for opportunities to laugh and engage with others. There are an average of three hysterical laughing episodes a day. PT coos constantly, and loudly, and sometimes is quite serious in whatever point he is trying to get across.

PT loves Hip. He really loves him. He has a hard time focusing on eating, bathing, getting changed, or Mommy/Daddy when Hip is around.

PT is just about sitting up on his own. He likes to be in a sitting position so he can see the world around him better.

PT loves toys. He enjoys interacting and playing with other people but he also enjoys playing with his toys and can entertain himself for several minutes at a time. PT also loves to chew anything he gets his hands on. Either his hands, his toys, his pacifier, his rag, or someone's fingers are in his mouth nearly all of the time. It is quite funny to watch him attempt to get those pandas in his mouth.

Did I mention PT really likes Hip? Hip likes to read to PT, to play with him, to talk to him, and to make PT laugh.

PT is quick to smile and extraordinarily congenial. PT knows what he wants, however, and does not take "no" or "just a minute" easily. When angry he will grab at his face and head and scratch himself severely. He often draws blood. Lately he has been hooking his ears with his thumb and gauging the inside to the point of bleeding quite a lot; I found him the other day with blood all of the right side of his face from one of these episodes (he was alone for one minute while I said good night to Hip).

PT started rice cereal this month. It has been a huge success and he feels hungry and willing to eat at any point in the day. He has also tried zucchini which he didn't like very much and oatmeal.
PT is working on creeping on his stomach and loves to stand in his Johnny Jump Up and exersaucer.
PT continues to gain weight and grow. five months has gone by so fast because of his happy addition to our family.

Inspirational

An older gentleman told me I was "inspiring" at the gym today as I got off the treadmill. My first reaction was to be flattered but after some thought on the matter I wonder if he thought I am disabled. Isn't that we, as Americans, reserve the word "inspirational" for most of the time?

Snow Day

This is the second time I've been sledding in my life; which makes sense knowing I grew up in the Willamette Valley, Oregon but not much sense knowing I lived on the Wasatch Front, Utah for 13 years.

The local weather authority predicted "the storm of the century" Monday evening, for Wednesday. Local schools and business announced their closures for the following day Tuesday. L's school canceled classes and so he got a day off. We decided to make the most of such a rare occurrence.

We started the day out by digging out of under approximately 10 inches of snow. Our city declared a "snow emergency". The neighborhood stood around outside and scratched our heads over why Michiganders were freaking out so much--storms like this happen in Utah and I was always expected at work/school the next day.

Then we went sledding. Hip was exhilarated to say the least. PT, not so much. It was windy, as it seems to be all of the time in Detroit winter, and even though I had him covered up the wind kept going through his blankets and he couldn't catch his breath (imagine what babies do, how they stop and swallow and stop breathing for a second, when you blow in their face). I ran, quite a distance and through a lot of snow, him back to the car and by the time we got there his lower lip/chin were blue. Once in shelter he started breathing normally again. PT stood for "Poor Thing" that part of the day.

We had lunch at McDonald's and made it home in time to change our clothes, pop some corn and head off to the dollar theatre to watch "Megamind." Hip brought his best friend from the neighborhood and they discussed important matters on the ride there: music, big houses, cars, and construction equipment. PT had a blow out in the middle of the show and there was a homeless man snoring and stinking the place up.

By the time we got home and cleaned up from our day (and L shoveled the driveway again) we were exhausted. But it was that happy kind of exhaustion when you know you just had an one-of-a-kind day; a day you always hope for but rarely get.

By the way, it was not the storm of the century--not even in the top 25 apparently.

And, today the weather authority predicted 2-3 inches of snow and we got 8-10! Uh, where's the disaster/emergency talk now? There was so much snow, in fact, the wise-guy neighbors buried L's car which was parked on the street. L retaliated by tackling them both. I think they are all acting out because of self-conscious feelings related to this picture published in the news:

P.S. "Megamind" is super funny and clever. I loved it.

3 Months

Our PT is three and a half months-old. We wonder, each day, where the time has gone and why we don't take more pictures.

PT continues to be a little angel, delightful in every way. He is quick to smile and laugh. He engages with everyone and anyone, doing so by cooing and chatting with anyone who will listen (even if that is simply his mobile). PT likes to squeal at Mom and enjoys being tickled to the point of laughing hysterically.

He enjoys his brother very much, getting a lot of his daily stimulation from Hip. Hip loves him too and likes to help change PT, talk to him, and watch over him for a few minutes while Mom goes to another room.

PT finds his reflection in the mirror gorgeous and will spend quite a bit of time admiring himself and chatting with himself.

He likes to chew. He grasps some toys, particularly teething rings, and puts them in his mouth. He is anxious to begin eating as he stares longingly at table food and even drools and "air eats" (does the mouth motion of eating) when Mom and Dad eat. He chewed on a cucumber the other night and threw a fit when Mom took it out of his mouth. We know he will be ready to start rice cereal within the next couple of weeks (we don't quite feel ready though).

PT likes to play with toys too, is really interested in his mobile, and likes to watch other people and kids.

PT does not like to be left out and often gets hurt feelings when he is isolated or not involved socially.

PT at his first professional sports game: Detroit Redwings

This month PT has started exercising in his exersaucer, has moved from the bassinet to his crib in his own room, is sleeping 12 hours at night, and has put himself on a 12-hour schedule (something Mom could not be disciplined enough to do): he gets tired each night at 8:00 pm and gets up each morning at 8:00 am. He puts himself to sleep at night (and naps) too.

PT loves to watch television even though we limit his daily viewing. He will crane his body to see the television. He went to his first movie today and loved the quality and sound of the theatre and big screen! Don't worry too much, he also likes to read with Mom, Dad, and Hip.

PT's current likes: eating, Mom, Hip, napping, toys, chewing, smiling, laughing, chatting, television, reading, singing, socializing.

PT's current dislikes: being alone/left out, having to wait to eat, wind (more on that later), tummy time.