Despite My Great Efforts To Convince Them Otherwise...

My family is under the false impression I like:

-Cleaning up after them

-The smell of poop, especially while I am in the shower

-Doing their dishes

-Doing their laundry, especially when they leave pens and lip balm in their pockets

-Listening to them yell, cry, whine, and complain; and beg, and beg, and beg for candy

-Putting their coats away; and shoes, and gloves, and winter hats

-Making them healthy meals which they refuse to eat, or refuse to eat the leftovers

-Seeing lougies in the bathroom sink when I go to brush my teeth

-Skid marks, pee on the bathroom floor, and a sopping wet shower mat

-Saying the same thing 100 times (aka talking to myself/a brick wall)

-Being spit up on, peed on, pooped on, snotted on; being a human paper towel or wash cloth

And my family is under the false impression I do not like:

-Reading for 5+ minutes straight without interruption

-Eating the treats I have spend hundreds of man hours making and baking

-Sleeping for more than four hours straight

-Watching any sort of television programming I may pick out, especially hearing the dialogue

-Getting away from this house all by myself

-My clothes without spit up/snot/pee/poop/someone else's food

All of this is beginning to lead me to believe my family likes:

-An irritable wife/mother

-A wife/mother that tunes out anybody's complaints/crying/whining/yelling/screaming/crying

-A wife/mother who is yelling/screaming/crying