I Need A Little Christmas Right This Very Moment

Research identifies 5 markers of a healthy family.

Traditions are one.

Think about what you look forward to most about the holidays.  I bet it's a tradition.  

One of my favorite family traditions growing up was my sister's birthday party. She was born on Christmas Eve (which she loves) and every year we had the family and many of her friends come by.  When we were in piano lessons we would put on a concert of Christmas Carols we were forced to learn (I can't believe my family members stomached through that year after torturous year). When we were little we would strut down our long hallway in fashion shows for my grandmas--my brother was always the hit of the show.  After the festivities my sister, brother, and I would have a slumber party in the bedroom my sister and I shared.  My brother and I would wake up early and try and coax my sister out of bed, which never really worked.

And my very favorite food tradition is my Grandma Hazel's "Snacks," which is homemade Chex Party Mix that she would throw in several varieties of crackers in addition to the traditional ingredients.  And every year I'd get yelled at for picking "the good things out."

L and I have started a few traditions since we've been married.  Here's one: we go to the store each year to pick out a Christmas tree ornament, each, to put on the year's tree.  This derived  from us not having any ornaments at all when we got married.  Our annual trip to the Christmas aisle has created some funny memories.  This is the ornament L picked out the first year: 

Every year since we argue about who really picked it out because L is embarrassed about it now.

This is the ornament Hippo picked out this year:

Here is the one Damnit picked out:

Later she beat it up:

Cashing in a fun tradition was well needed after the week we had.  On Monday there was a crisis involving one of my favorite clients which tore my heart apart. She will be okay, I guess, but the outcome was not optimal despite my great efforts.  Further, L found out that day he didn't get a position in the particular ICU he was hoping.  He was more disappointed than I have ever seen him. Fortunately this had little to do with his skills and work performance and everything to do with politics.  Though still disappointed we feel the place he did get a job will be beneficial for his long term plan and will open up wanted opportunities.

Tuesday evening as I was gathering my things together to leave the office I noticed I had a voicemail.  I decided to listen to it, even though I usually save end-of-day voicemail for the next day.  Unfortunately it was a guardian of one of my incarcerated clients leaving me the most threatening voicemail of my career...and life.  There were few staff left in the office and it took me several hand-wringing minutes to find security.  Don't worry too much the police are now involved and I am considering pressing charges.  My company has been very supportive in managing this situation to where I feel safe and secure (well, as good as I can possibly I guess).  The worst part of the threat had little to do with the things she said about me, but the things she said about Hippo.  Of course she doesn't know him, but since they have been my clients for some time I knew them when I was pregnant.  Therapists tend to be guarded for such reasons and it always frustrated me I was not able to hide that part of my life but I figured nothing bad would actually happen.  

That event was overshadowed by this one:  When I got home that night L informed me his dad's new wife was in a coma and expected to pass away in the next 24 hours.  We were invited to pay our last respects which I felt uncomfortable about since we are not intimate family and I felt this time should be for those who knew her and loved her most, like her parents, her siblings, and her children.  We decided, however, we should go to support L's dad.  It was a very good thing we went because when we arrived the anxiety in the home was so thick one could barely breathe.  L was able to explain the situation to her children and to his dad so they were all on the same page and understood exactly what choices they had. They finally all agreed on what was best.  L's dad called at 2:00 am to say she had passed away an hour earlier.  

Wednesday evening I began feeling a cold coming on.  By the time Thursday afternoon came around I was extraordinarily sick (with my annual sinus infection) and so I left work early canceling the remainder of my appointments. It was a HUGE mistake to cancel my own appointments.  I got chewed out by a few clients when they found out in addition to that day I would be canceling next week due to the services I would be attending for L's dad's wife.  Can you believe the nerve of some people?  I finally said to one father, "I can help a lot of things but I cannot help the fact that your son has been a slacker in his treatment for the past 18 months, nor can I help when people in my family die. Maybe I need to have the conversation with his probation officer instead of you." Needless to say he backed off but I have a grave feeling this is not the end of my clients' complaints.

In addition to all of the other crap going on this week I was not able to say goodbye to a very good friend moving to Mexico indefinitely, due to being so sick.  I also found out our other friend, who shares our babysitter, is so unsatisfied with her services, because their child gets beat up by her child, they have pulled their child.  It makes me worry Hippo will be the new target but two days notice is not long enough to find a new babysitter.  Thankfully we only need her two and a half  more days before my Christmas vacation. Also this week, L's long time best friend's child had a cancer scare but tests this week ruled that out, thank goodness.  

Even though it's been a week of tragedy, disappointment, worry, and stress we feel blessed to have our jobs, to have our health, to have our beautiful home, to have our working (barely sometimes) cars, to have a loving kitty, and to have supportive families.  It's been hard to stay in the Christmas Spirit this season but our family Christmas traditions bring us back to what's important. 

Here's a funny picture of Hippo putting the star on the tree.